you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
