I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
