Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
