He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
