the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
