You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize