I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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