Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
