her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
