Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
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The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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