it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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