So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
