Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
