my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
