I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We're too hungover to prance.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
