rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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