I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize