I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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