Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
