he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
