tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
