Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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