very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
