You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
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Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
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I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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