and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
