seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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