I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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