she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
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Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
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When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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