there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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