dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
