Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
