There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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