I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
