you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
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Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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