i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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