nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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