No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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