What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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