can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
