jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
