her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
foreskin is a definite game changer
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
