in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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