I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
