I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
