WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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