Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
