Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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