do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
