It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
