i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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