So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
