i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
