i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
