Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
