he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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