i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
