Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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