Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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