why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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