Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
