i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
