In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
