Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Randomize
